You probably know from Lilo and Stitch that ohana means family, but do you know what 家 means?
Good news! If you don’t know Mandarin, I’m going to teach you the word 家 (pronounced: jiā) today, and also share with you some highlights from my trip to China.
Right now, I’m on my flight back to Vancouver. I took two weeks off work this month to visit relatives I haven’t seen in two to three years; I went to Beijing, a couple of cities in Jiangsu province, and Shanghai.
I’ve met all of these relatives before, but for some reason—perhaps I’m older and wiser—the meaning of 家 (jiā) grew on me this time.
Let’s start with the dictionary definition: 家 (jiā) means family, household or home
I went to Beijing first. I’ve always been close to my mom’s side in Beijing, so it was so awesome to see my grandparents and my mom’s sister’s family again.
My grandparents are still the same, which I guess is a good thing. I did a lot of chilling at their place—I watched TV with them, I sang karaoke using their new karaoke machine, I played piano, I ate with them.
My aunt (my mom’s sister) stayed with me and my grandparents for a few days. She’s an aspiring artist, so whenever I was in a fixed position like sitting, looking at my phone, playing piano, or napping, she drew me.
I also met the newest member of my family in Beijing! Last time I was in Beijing, my cousin’s wife was pregnant with 大喜 (dàxǐ). Now he’s two years old and super duper cute.
It was good to be back at my Beijing 家 (jiā)!
家 (jiā) is eating chocolate cake made by your granddaughter even though you have diabetes.
I started making cakes as a hobby in Canada, and I’ve been sending all these amazing cake pictures to my family in Beijing. My aunt thought it would make my grandma happy if she got to eat one of my cakes, so one day, my aunt and I made a cake.
It was kind of last minute so we didn’t shop for any special ingredients. They had Hershey’s cocoa powder, so we decided to make a chocolate cake. The only fruits they had were oranges, so we put oranges in the cake. Because my grandma is diabetic, I used way less sugar than the recipe called for.
I could tell my grandma really enjoyed it because she ate like a third of the cake. Super bad for her diabetes but it means she thought it was delicious.
家 (jiā) is there when you don’t really need them, and when you do need them.
I had such good timing with this trip because my great uncle from Hong Kong came to Beijing to do an art exhibition at the National Art Museum of China.
My aunt, my cousin and I “helped” him set up the exhibition. Well, actually we didn’t do much. The employees of the museum did all the physical set up like mounting the paintings; we helped with small things like rolling up bubble wrap. My great uncle didn’t really need us to help out—we were there for moral support, aw yeahhhh.
It was so good to see my great uncle and great aunt because I didn’t see them for three years. Unfortunately, I didn’t see the final exhibition because I had to leave early to take an overnight train to Yancheng, Jiangsu, to visit my dad’s side of the family.
My first cousin in Yancheng picked me up and I spent the day with her daughter, Zhangyuanxin (my first cousin once removed), who is the same age as me. We went to Yandu park, did a yoga session together, watched America’s Next Top Model, and explored a street market.
She’s trying to improve her English and I’m trying to improve my Mandarin, so we agreed to use WeChat after I’m back in Canada to practice.
The next day, the same first cousin drove me to Binhai; during the drive, we had a nice long chat. Even though she’s my cousin, I see her more as an aunt who is very supportive of me and I know I can trust her advice.
Binhai is my dad’s hometown, and it was so nice to see everyone again. Some highlights were making dumplings with my two first cousins, practicing English with my first cousin once removed, getting a massage by my massage therapist uncle, and having lunch with 15 other relatives. We are a big family because my dad has seven siblings!
When I was a teenager, I was closest to my dad’s third sister’s three daughter’s daughters (sorry, that was a mouthful, but I don’t know how I can describe our relationship without doing that). Basically, each of my dad’s three nieces has a daughter. So those three are my first cousins once removed. They are around my age, so we got along really well.
One of them is in Yancheng where I had just visited. Another is in Nanjing for university. The other one moved to Wuxi, which is about a five hour drive away. I wasn’t planning to go to Wuxi at first, but then I found out that my cousin in Nanjing planned to go to Wuxi for the weekend, so I decided to kill two birds with one stone.
家 (jiā) is welcoming no matter how far apart you sit on the family tree.
I went to Wuxi for one day. I’m so glad I did because I had such a good time, despite having less than 24 hours. We went out for dinner, shopped, chilled at my cousin’s house, slept, woke up, ate breakfast, went to the mall, got bubble tea and had lunch.
Last time I saw them three years ago. My first cousin once removed, Zhengyawen, got married that time, and now she has a son.
So he is my first cousin twice removed, which puts me at a “granny level.” It’s funny because his mom is one year older than me. Basically, he has a great aunt who is younger than his mom. He calls me 姨奶 (yí nǎi), which translates to great aunt. It’s funny in Mandarin because nǎi means grandma. Wow, I feel old.
My other first cousin once removed, Shiyue, who goes to university in Nanjing, lugged her laundry all the way from Nanjing on a two-hour train so that she could get Zhengyawen, who is her first cousin, to do her laundry and save her a couple bucks.
Haha, so I guess 家 (jiā) also means doing laundry for one another, but you’re allowed to do it grudgingly.
The next day, my second cousin drove me from Wuxi to Shanghai, and I had dinner with my other first cousin (my dad’s little brother’s daughter).
In Shanghai, I stayed with my other cousin—we’re not quite sure how we’re related so we simply call each other cousin). He drove me to the airport eight hours ago. Yeah, a lot of cousins!
Doesn’t matter what you call it—family, 家 or ohana
Of course, I’m closer to some more than others. With some, I can share all my thoughts, ideas and challenges. With others, even if I haven’t seen them for years, we start off right where we left off and always have a good time. With others, it’s simply enough to stop by and say hi—it’s nice to know they are doing well.
With all of them, one thing’s for sure: I know I can depend on them.
It’s kind of crazy that I’ve lived all these years in Canada without spending much time with this overseas family of mine. I’m amazed at what they do for each other, and also what they’ve done for me in the short amount of time I’ve spent with them.
As I fly thousands of kilometers away, I keep thinking what a shame it is to not know them better. So I’m very grateful for these kinds of trips. I will definitely take advantage of the digital age we live in and do video calls with them more often.
I’m lucky to have this 家.
I’m grateful for everyone’s hospitality and I hope some of them will come to Canada to visit. I’m grateful that I have a place to lay my head in countless cities around the world. I’m grateful for always having family there to pick me up and send me off—thanks yima, yifu, er jie, Zhang ge, Lusha and Lu ge this time. I’ve realized how much their support, kindness and encouragement mean to me.
Now I’m going back to my 家 in Canada, at a whopping 1,029 km/h. Despite the distance, I feel like 家 is closer than ever before. I have no idea where I am right now in the air, but I know exactly where I was and where I will be in a few hours.